The Saving of Sobul - Chapter 1 - Part 3

As Colias watched the deer move through the hazel forest, she seemed to travel with the instinct of centuries, and he sensed that this beautiful creature was somehow connected to his destiny.  It was only when Colias saw the Crystal Kingdom shining from the earth’s core, that he knew the imaginings of his dreams in Sobul were about to be realised.

The deer passed through the crystal wall of the kingdom, and was swiftly transformed into a goddess with wild red waist-long hair and white cotton skin draped by liquid gold.  Around her forehead remained the snowdrops, only dimmed now by her eyes of black lagoons.  Once inside the Crystal Kingdom, the earthly world was no longer part of her, and those outside, unable to enter, could only look on.  As Indra attempted to forge through the crystal wall, his failure to pass made him impatient, and with that, his butterfly wings began to fade. Colias was more resolute, the imaginings of his dreams was now happening, and the unfolding of events would be just a question of time.

* *

    

Makaylah's wild waist long hair moved as if floating on water when she turned to see Edana enter the crystals.  Edana, the goddess of fire, once through the crystal wall, transformed from a wild cat.  Her hair, black like the raven, was surrounded by a garland of large red roses around her forehead.  Her skin darker than Makaylah’s, wrapped in a dress of blood red, revealed womanly curves that held the power of all men’s passions. An ice fox was the next to arrive, and just like Makaylah, she turned into a creature so beautiful, that she had no need for any crown.  The iced-white of her fox coat, became silky straight hair of purple, her lips the same colour.  Kindall may not have had the purity of Makaylah, or the full bodied passion of Edana, but she was indeed a clever independent fox.

     ‘Ah, Kindall, you are just in time, Makaylah here thinks she might have seen him.’

     ‘Seen who?’

     ‘The warning of our forefathers, the creature she must never kiss.’  Edana let out an infectious laugh just as Peigi arrived.

     ‘Makaylah has seen him?’ the white dove becoming the last of the sisters to transform. 

     Makaylah looked at Peigi, the youngest of them all with the colour of the oceans in her eyes.  Peigi wings turned into a headdress of three circles in white weave, the centre piece laced in crystals, just like her dress.  

     ‘Heavens Makaylah, is this true?  You have finally met him?’ Peigi swooned.

     ‘Do you not get it Peigi, romance, not that I normally resist the absolute divine delight of it, is completely out of the question here.’

     ‘Edana, maybe the warning is wrong, this creature might be her true love.’

     But Peigi conceded defeat when Kindall spoke.

     ‘She cannot afford to take that chance?’

     Makaylah looked at her three sisters and remembered Colias as he stood in the meadow.  Each of them could see the vision in her eyes, and feel her deepest emotions, knowing that he was within her being, like the centre stones of the earth's core.

     It was Kindall that spoke next.

     ‘Makaylah you know if you kiss him, you will go to the Valley of Darkness?’

     ‘I know.  Everything from my creation to now confirms what you say, but even though I understand this, there is something drawing me to him.’

     ‘That’s the very reason why you should not be tempted.  You hardly think the gods would have sent a being of no attraction.’ Kindall looked to Edana to confirm.

     ‘Absolutely darling, the more passionate and tempting they seem, the more one should be wary.  Unless of course you like to live dangerously like me?’

     ‘I think Makaylah should go to the Forest of Answers,’ said Peigi.

     ‘Will you take me there sweet Peigi?’

     ‘Of course I will, but we must rest now, tomorrow before daylight we will go.  In your sleep, the gods might give you answers.’

    

Before the sun rose outside the Crystal Kingdom, Makaylah's sad eyes told Peigi nothing had changed.  Peigi transforming herself into her earthly dove-like form and waited while Makaylah reduced to the size of the most minuscule of fairies.  Climbing on her back, they both flew to the Forest of Answers,  unaware that in their wake, followed the daring Colias.

The conclusion of this chapter will be posted on Saturday 2nd April 2011

Special Star Badge by Alias Jinksy

My special thanks to fellow blogger and multi-talented ALIAS JINKSY for sending me the amazing 120 Socks Star Badge!

Isn't it absolutely FAB!

Novel - Targets & Edits

One more day to month end, when the final editing of Chapters 1 - 3 should be completed.  So far, I have done the small edits, keeping the level of 'hads', 'he', 'she' and whatever other small words seem to eat into sentences, at an optimum level.  I have also clarified shifts in times, emphasised turning points, sharpened paragraphs, turned elusive references, to logical analysis and so forth and so on.

The only thing left to do, is turn the beginning of chapter 1 upside down, to an opening pitch, that excites all those mere mortals lucky or unlucky enough to read it (which hopefully will be millions!).

Tomorrow is the last day of my self imposed target, so fingers crossed I achieve my aim on Chapter 1, and it won't be too long before Chapters 1-3, take wings and fly off to a welcoming publisher/agent/or anyone who will help along the way!!! 

STAR AWARD

I am very pleased to announce that the 120 socks

 60th BLOG FOLLOWER STAR AWARD
 goes to the fabulous...... 

Afric Mc Glinchy

Keep  a watch out for Afric's blog which hopefully will be appearing in my Blog Roll List over the coming days!!!! 

Who would like a Star?

Okay, this might well be one of my more crazy posts, but we are all allowed a few!!  Anyhow, I reckon the world is full of people that like gold stars.  I know I do.  Now when I say gold stars, I mean the type that you used to get at school or at home for an achievement, you know the one, small and sticky!

Anyhow, at the end of March 2011, 120 Socks will be alive and kicking for 6 months (yeah, yeah,I know it seems like longer, but it isn't because I am not including those 3 days in September 2010 when I was just learning), and I kinda had a bit of a goal set in my head a couple of months back.  One part of the goal was to reach 10,000 hits and I am thinking that, that might just be possible (anyone who wants to go on a world tour of the site, please do so before month end) , and the other part of the goal, was to have 60 followers, or halfway to 120 socks if you get my drift.

So, whoever (if anyone) decides to be the 60th follower, I will hereby award them the gold star below!

Alright, daft, but kinda fun!!!

And to anyone that is already a follower, you are already a STAR.

Magpie Tales - Mona

This week's prompt from Tess @ Magpie Tales is a fairly familiar image, so it took me a while to work out where to go with it.  In the end, I decided to do a small piece on two teenagers from Dublin (Ireland) visiting the Mona Lisa in the Louvre on a school trip.  Apologies to anyone that might have difficulty with the local dialect, and also for the sentence alignment, for some reason the tabs were acting up and no matter what I did, they just sat a little odd.

For other interpretations of this week's prompt visit Magpie Tales HERE.

Steve:              Wat do ya want to come in here for?

Amy:                To see her eyes.  They say dat her eyes follow ya all around the room.  Me Grandad said dat when he was here, when he was young like, dat he just had to come and check her out, see if the thing wit her eyes was really true.

Steve:              Was he here during the war?

Amy:                Nah.  Him and his friend Archie, they wer over for a match, some French team and Manchester United.

Steve:              Ah right.

Amy:                He went to all four corners of the room he did, and der they wer, da eyes as sure as anythin', staring him out of it.

Steve:              Wat eyes?

Amy:                Mona’s eyes ya dope.

Steve:              Yeah?  Followin' him around like?

Amy:                They wer lookin’ at him, no matter wer he stood.

Steve:              He could have turned his back on her.  That wud hav made it trickier.

Amy:                Leonardo was a ‘genius’ Steve, not a bleedin’ magician.

Steve:              Di Caprio?

Amy:                Wat? Not the movie star you thick.  Leonardo Da Vinci, the guy dat painted herself.  Some say she's a man, Mona dat is.

Steve:              A wat?  You’re not serious.  Though now dat I'm lookin' at her, she does look sorta odd, ya know, like one of them faces dat they stick into somethin' else.

Amy:                Nah.  She, I mean he, doesn't look like dat.   Sorry Mona.

Steve:              Wat are ya sayin’ sorry to a blinkin’ paintin’ for?

Amy:                Just in case.

Steve:              In case wat?

Amy:                In case der is a bit of a magician in her after all.

Steve:              Oh right.  Yeah ya might hav’ somethin’ der.

Amy:                Wat’s wrong wit ya Steve?  Ya look all nervy, like you’ve seen a ghost or
                        somethin’.

Steve:              Well I don’t like it here.

Amy:                Why not?  I think it’s great, beats bein’ in bleedin’ school anyhow.

Steve:              Yeah, well I thought when they said we wer going to Paris, dat it wud be Euro Disney, not all this posh stuff (he looks around him).

Amy:                So wat?

Steve:              It’s like visitin’ another world.

Amy:                Wat wrong wit dat?

Steve:              It’s not dat ders anythin' wrong wit it, it’s just...

Amy:                Just wat?

Steve:              It’s a bit bleedin’ scary.

Amy:                Scary?

Steve:              Yeah, like all these paintins’ and all.

Amy:                Wat about them?

Steve:              Well Mona.

Amy:                Yeah?

Steve:              I don’t think she’s da only one dats lookin’ at us.

Amy:               Ah Steve, are they really scarin’ ya?  Don’t ya worry.  I'll mind ya.  I like a guy with a bit of a soft side (she links his arm). 

Steve:             Hey, there’s Miss Brennan.

Amy:               Miss Brennan.  Howya (she waves).  Miss, we're over here.  Sorry Miss.  Steve here just wanted to see Mona.  Didn't ya Steve?  Come on will ya, before Miss Brennan has a heart attack.

Steve:             Dats right, land me in it why don’t ya.

Amy:               Keep it down Steve. Did I not tell ya?

Steve:             Tell me wat?

Amy:               Your woman Mona, she can hear as well.

Steve:             (shaking) You're not serious.

Amy:               Come on. Don't worry, didn't I say dat I wud mind ya.

Walking/Photo Journal - Chainsaw Man

Another great sunny Dublin day yesterday, so I spent most of it outside feeding the poor plants and young trees that thought they were deserted, along with the odd bit of weeding.  Mr Socks was out there to, putting together the beginning of steps, so that the risk of sliding down the hill out back, would be somewhat eased.  Did I tell you, that one of my favourite activities is watching Mr Socks work, and you just got to love a man with a chainsaw! 

I did manage to make the hungry worker a cup of tea at one point, whereupon Mr Socks was joined by a neighbour Patrick Pye, a local artist that I will hopefully do a post on soon.  I think his quote of the day yesterday was one about marriage, Patrick incidentally is 80 and is married 40 years, but anyhow this is his theory on marriage or specifically the age one should get married. 

'As an artist, and you leave college, at lets say 20, you need to spend the next ten years working out what you want or more importantly need to do, then you need to spend the next ten years convincing other people that your work is deserving of an income, and then you are free to marry.'  I knew I had done something wrong! 

Miram O Callaghan in Conversation with Roddy, Rory & Ita Doyle at the Library

I went along to Tallaght Library last Thursday for the interview with Roddy Doyle and his parents with the wonderful Miriam O Callaghan.  I say wonderful because one, I had a very high opinion of Miriam before the interview, and two because after it, it went up a couple more notches.

Firstly, she did a very good job of putting everyone at their ease, including Roddy Doyle's parents, who turned out to be really interesting and also very moving to listen to.  You'll get a chance yourself to listen by clicking the link below, and also because Miriam was really supportive to the school students that came along, giving lots of encouragement and praise with a bit of humour fired in for good measure.

Now I am sure interviewing, even very good interviewing always throws up the odd curve ball, but Miriam had more than her fair share to deal with last Thursday, when having waited for the production team to do all the sound checks, whilst Miriam chatted to everyone, we had a power failure, complete black out.  Initially, most thought it would last a couple of minutes and then we would be off again, but it turned out the whole area was down and the ESB had no idea when they would get it back up again......interviewing nightmare..... except that the sound man had back up batteries!  As the setting up of the new sound level would take about 15 minutes, it was decided to have a bit of a question and answer session while we waited.  This was really good, with some great questions from the students about Roddy's characters and stories, and it was awful pity that it wasn't being recorded, and again to Miriam's credit, not only did she praise and encourage the teenagers, but she also managed to store up items in her head out of the responses from the Q & A, for the interview once it got rolling.

So the first part of the interview, all 4 minutes before the power cut had to be scraped, because the sound would be different, and then 15 to 20 minutes later, the sound guys had everything set up on battery, when guess what, yes you've guessed it, the power came back on.  So..........this meant changing all the sound settings again, another 10 or 15 minutes, and me thinks deffo an interviewer's worst nightmare.  But the lady just kept on going, charming everyone, and smiling all the way through it.  So when we did finally start, the below recording took place and well worth a listen to, so get listening.

Miriam O Callaghan in conversation with Roddy, Ita and Rory Doyle  HERE

Daffedy Daf!

Not quite Wordsworth, but they do look good, sort of makes me feel all that digging was worthwhile last September!!

The Cruel World of Editing

Yes I know, it doesn't seem long since my last 'editing' post, but editing is a bit like most crazy things that invade your life, it sort of takes over, because everything is structured around either 'doing it', or 'not doing it'.  Now just to clarify here, when I use the term 'editing', I am not talking about fixing the final draft, I am talking about writing the second draft better than the first!!!

In part, I am happy enough with things, despite having to drag myself to the keyboard more than once this week, progress was achieved, although I am wondering should I be brave enough to read the three chapters that I have edited so far, in case the dreaded 'all morning to put in a comma and all afternoon to take it out again' phrase might start ringing alarm bells.

So maybe this is a good time to tell you one of the many things that I have learned about editing, (I imagine, I still have an awful lot more to learn), which is that each change of sentence has a ripple effect.  For example, you put the word 'had' in a sentence, because you left it out first time around, and then you end up with too many 'hads' on a page, or you change the content or emphasis of a sentence, only to discover that it doesn't sit nearly as snugly with the surrounding sentences anymore, or even worse, frustration sets in, and you start deleting at speed perfectly good sentences, cause, well you just do.  Now, I know this is something that I recognised before, namely in editing short stories, poetry, the odd dabble at play writing and so on, but somehow it takes on a whole new dynamic, when changes, especially of emphasis, or shifts in mood start to influence a novel.  You have to remember that on page 19, chapter 2, you already made a subtle reference to a particular thing, so you can't repeat this reference on page 220, chapter 33, if you get my drift.

I have also learned, which I should have known already, and in way of course I did, that apart from sharpening up your work, you are adding another layer, a small detail here, a question there, a smell or sound, things that first time around did not exist in this fictional world that is THE NOVEL, but again the scale is the scary thing, because you know that as a reader, you have gone through 100 pages of a novel, and wondered why the writer is telling you that small detail again that they told you 100 pages earlier!

(I feel more notepads coming on to replace the dozen or so I had on the first draft!!!!)

Finally, I have discovered something about myself, although as yet, I am not sure if it is a good or a bad thing.  I have discovered, that I like to divide and conquer, but starting with the little conquests first. 

Grammar, getting rid of cliches (all two of them that I found) etc got tackled first, then came sharpening of sentences, then came small details popping in here and being taken out there, then came odd moments when my characters started to wear new clothes, and started to walk around the place like they have just been given a makeover from one of those 'What not to wear' programmes, and finally I turn to the big things, which is where I am at now, needing to completely somersault Chapter 1, make a small paragraph in Chapter 3 become a major turning point, and fix a passage of time in Chapter 2, so the reader is brought back 'clearly' to a point that happened 2 pages earlier.

Okay, you are getting to realise how mad I have become, so just in case someone starts to send the men in white suits around, I am not despondent about all the big things I still have to do, because tomorrow I have a free day from all activities except editing, so I am going to set up camp early, and work to the finish or the death, or whatever, god awful hour, it takes me to get the darn thing done.  

Please note, when I say 'done', I mean fixing Chapters 1-3, not the whole thing!!!!!