I don't know about the rest of you, but I am really enjoying these posts about When you were small, and the main reason I'm enjoying them, is because you have all been fantastic about sharing your stories. I hope this next trip down memory lane, will facilitate some more gems.
So, this week's topic, in case you haven't read the title is 'Who was your first best friend?'
We all probably agree that friends, real friends are brilliant. They become a great part of your life, one that isn't like your immediate or extended family, your partner, your boss, your bank manager, but they are the guys that you often turn to, when all the other categories don't quite fit.
With real friends, you know, if you are in trouble, or in need of advice,in a second, they will be there, and likewise, you would do the same for them. They are there in a mini crisis, when really they should tell you, they are too busy, or go away - but when you say the magic words - Can I ask you something?- They will listen, and unless it's for your own good, will oblige.
So I got to thinking about best friends, and first best friends, and probably like most people, I remember my first best friend really well. Perhaps because, friends are your first links outside of the family nest.
In my case, her name was Betty, and she came from a family where the children managed to get into the double figures. This was not an unusual in good old Catholic Ireland, but being the youngest in a family of four children myself, despite my fondness for Betty, I was also very envious of her. I mean, I wanted a baby sister or brother too. I wasn't bothered whether it was a boy or a girl, I just wanted a baby, someone younger than me, that I could mind, etc etc.
Of course, as a child, I didn't see the real hardship associated with having children in double figures, especially when money was in very short supply. Nor did I fully grasp the fact that, after me, my Mam did have two more children, neither of which survived beyond the first days of birth, but I do remember Betty. The reason being, she was my friend, my best friend, someone I could confide in.
I am not sure what I learnt from my early relationship with her, other than the very real sense, that my life was better for having her in it. In part this might be why, I value friends so much today. There are a lot of people in this world, but friends are in shorter supply than one might think. If you manage to find one, a good one, hold on to them, they are irreplaceable.
So who was your first best friend? Do you still know them now? Were you jealous of them? Did you outgrow them? Lots of questions, can't wait to hear your answers.
Great post, as usual, Louise. I think young children are great at making friends. At that age, it just comes so naturally. There's none of the petty jealousies and nonsense that sometimes informs adult relationships. Of course - as I remember from personal experience - that doesn't mean you don't end up killing each other some of the time, but any arguments - no matter how bad - were always forgotton as quickly as they started.
ReplyDeleteYeap, just like how all childhood summers, were SUNNY!
ReplyDeletemy first best friend was a girl called Katherine ...my mum always said she looked like an angel .she had long blonde hair and was beautiful we would play endlessly together and always see father Christmas and have a Christmas treats together ....she was also my first friend I unfortunately lost she was killed in a car accident and I was told god wanted his angel back,I have never forgotten her and my daughters middle name is Katherine.
ReplyDeleteMy first best friend was Mary, she had a black tooth, jet black hair, a bold expression and always swore. Man...she was cool! Like a little Lady Ga Ga she was!
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately one day she just didn't come to school, her family just moved away and none of us ever heard from her or her family again...looking back I sometimes wonder if she was even real.
Kez, your story brought me right to that place of love and hurt and sadness, and I get what your Mum said, I too have met people who remind me of angels, bet your daughter is wonderful.
ReplyDeleteMichelle, I luv your rebel friend, and so sad and touching and wonderful to hear this story too - nice if she was part of your imaginings, she's part of memory anyhow. My son had an imaginary football team when he was small!
hahaha aw that is so cute about your son! Kids have such wonderful imaginations!
ReplyDeleteMy first best friend was called Donna. She was my playmate, confidante and the one who helped me (a shy little girl) get through my first days at school.
ReplyDeleteThen when we were about 7? Her family emigrated to America, leaving me bereft and alone! Everyone else had already paired up with best friends and I was heartbroken.
I remember before she left, we were crying and clinging to one another and she promised that one day she would come back and find me, she never did. I used to dream about her for years.
When I was older I did try to look her up online to see what happened to her and her family but drew a blank.
I had forgotten all about all this until I read this post, but I realise it had a big effect on me.
Great post. :-)
Susannah, thanks for that. Not sure what I've started here, but old ties are strong ties that is for sure. Thanks again :-)
ReplyDeleteMy first best friend was Karl. He had lots of freckles and really curly hair. we played basketball and football and Frisbee a lot. We got slagged a lot obviously coz he was a boy but I had really no interest in being good friends with the girls. They were really boring. He moved away in 2nd class. Come to think of it, that was probably why I was allowed get a guinea pig.
ReplyDeleteI remember having a lot of friends in early childhood, but after moving away from the city and out to the middle of nowhere friends were harder to come by. Eventually (as you will read in a blog post coming soon) I made a great best friend. Her name is Michelle. I say is because three weeks ago she and I reconnected.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I used to call her My Michelle. We'd get in so much trouble together, but could tell each other anything and everything. One of my fondest, albeit we were downright rotten, memories of her was when we spent the night at her grandmother's house. Some neighborhood kids who were up to no good, snuck to the window, slipped a straw through the screen and Michelle and I got drunk off Mad Dog 20/20.
That night we laughed so hard her grandma woke up, but the old lady was practically blind and had a hard time hearing, so when she burst in the room we made quick apologies, promised we'd go to sleep and set right back to laughing just as soon as she was gone--only on a lower level.
Now I think I'm going to go e-mail her because this just made me miss her even more. ;-)
Great post!
Oh Rachel you are such a joy, boy, guinea pig! Hope you have moved on!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteBrill story Krystal, love the straw bit, but love the friend bit even more. Go e-mail her, and let us know how you got on!
I've been moved around since I was a kid and lived in different countries. I've had so many different types of friends and at various stages of my life. But I miss, love, and stay in contact with the friends from my childhood the most. Love without cynicism, I suppose. Believe it or not, I was one of those kids who defended their friends. Busted many boys' kneecaps....
ReplyDelete'About Me', sounds like you were a great friend!
ReplyDeleteGreat post! My first best friend was called Billy. I told my family all about my new friend and how I'd been invited to his house to eat chocolate cake. They were delighted to hear it... until I revealed that Billy was a giant talking rabbit. Yes, Billy was a product of my imagination, and unfortunately, so was the cake.
ReplyDeleteLOL Maire - Billy sounds great to me, pity about d cake!
ReplyDeleteMy best friend was Jody Trout. We met when I was three and she was two. We were fast friends throughout our lives, even when we moved away from one another.
ReplyDeleteShe died in a car crash sixteen years ago this September. I miss her still, but I will always treasure the good times and the great friendship we had.
Sorry to hear about your friend Tracy, I completely understand how you feel. The loss of a friend is heartfelt. I have one very close to my own heart.
ReplyDeleteMy best friend is and always will be my sister. I don't know why I can't even really remember friends from early childhood other than her. She was just 2 years younger and we played everything together.
ReplyDeleteBest Friends for life, Small Town Shelly Brown!
ReplyDeleteMy first best friend was called Amelia. She came with her family to a gypsy camp near my junior school. She had dark hair and pale coffee skin and I thought she was so exotic. She attended my school for a short time. I didn't know her long as her family soon moved on but I've never forgotten her. I wonder where she is now.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful name, and your memory conjures up almost dreamlike your friendship. It is good to wonder where she is now, but some things have a magic in the past.
ReplyDeleteIn the mid-1970s, aged about 8/9, I was living in Belfast at the height of the troubles. My best friend there was the handsome, brown eyed and always up to mischief Stephen who lived next door. Opposite us, lived a Diplock Court Judge on whom there had been several assassination attempts. His house was on a half acre of land, surrounded by chestnut trees, barbed wire fencing and soldiers. Not that we cared about any of that. All we cared about was raiding the garden for conkers. The only time we got caught was the last time we did this. I lost my balance and fell back into the wire and screamed. The next thing I knew I was staring down the barrels of three guns until Stephen yanked me back to put himself between me and the soldiers. In retrospect, I think I should have married Stephen. And the Judge? He was blown to smithereens a few years later. And Stephen? I don’t know. My family was bombed back to Dublin in one piece a few months later and being too young to keep in touch, we lost touch. I tried googling him just now but nothing came up. Strange, given that his family were established wealthy and he was all set to inherit the family business. The funny thing is that the clearest picture I have in my head are the soldiers. Pale, shaking and spotty. They can’t have been more than 18 / 19.
ReplyDeleteI think I might just be in love with Stephen! You better find him girl - I know you can do it - u r the kind of person that can make things happen! Thanks for your special gem, before I head to my leaba!
ReplyDeleteI grew up surrounded by my cousins so never really made an effort to make friends outside the family. I realise now it was not such a good thing. Although I'm very sociable I'm rubbish at meeting new people by myself. Anyway my bestfriend also my cousin, was Julie. We were inseparable. I still remember the inane stories we would tell each other over & over again. The endless giggling and chattering as we sat up late on sleepovers. Where you found one you could be sure the other wasn't far behind. My memories of Julie are some of the happiest memories I have and will always treasure. We experienced nearly everything together but at 16/17 she got pregnant I went to the Army. Since then we have never got back what we had. We still live in the same town and I couldn't even tell u her address. The only time we meet now are family weddings and funerals and we still barely talk.
ReplyDeleteMy only answer to this is I think she felt hurt and resentful that I got on with living my life and she missed so much being a young mum. I still miss her sometimes but I don't think she will ever move past her resentment, which is so sad because I've never allowed anyone to take her place.
Hi tattoedevil. I don't think anyone ever takes the place of your first best friend. It is a bond that belongs to childhood, which in part might explain why it does not always trancend into adulthood. Thank you so much for sharing your story. Sometimes when people move in different directions, it is hard to pick up the pieces again. Afterall, where do you begin, such an intimate relationship but with so much water under the bridge, creating an enormous river to swim through. Maybe next time you meet, you might say - do you remember those mad times we had when we were little?
ReplyDeleteEither way, you had something great, and in part it has formed you into the good person you are today. X