Great theme again this week - bathing, the sea - thanks Jessica.
The strange and wonderful thing about the poetry bus is that like all the best rides, you never know where you're going until you get there!
The Strand
I am three years old,
at Sandymount Strand.
The tide’s coming in.
New smells,
in an unknown place.
The breeze batters my ears and face,
filling my hair with knots and sand.
Against the sea and sky he stands,
trouser legs rolled up.
White chalk skin, unforeseen.
There are others too,
with hidden faces.
He turns to the sea,
his back to me.
I am three years old,
cold.
The wind cuts out all other sounds.
He walks away,
blue waters eat his feet.
Her hands grip mine,
‘No,’ I scream.
The strand is huge,
swallowing my sobs.
‘Shush,’ she says holding tighter still,
as my father turns,
coming back from the sea,
as my father turns,
coming back from the sea,
into my memory.
That is just gorgeous - love the breeze filling hair with knots and sand, and the tension leading to the ending, dramatic!!!
ReplyDeleteVery effective with some lovely little rhymes dotted about.
ReplyDeleteThanks Niamh & Rachel.
ReplyDeleteReally (so many over-used superlatives, aren't there) wonderful! The hidden faces, the wind, the hand-grip - all so powerful and the end is really mysterious. I liked this a whole lot.
ReplyDeleteKat
There is a back story alright, hence perhaps your feeling that the end is mysterious, glad you liked it!
ReplyDeleteYes, there's a lot unsaid here, hinted at. Maybe you could develop it into a sequence of poems?
ReplyDeleteHmm,that's something to think about. Tks Peter
ReplyDeletethat's lovely :) I liked the understated rhyme, the quietness of it. I agree with Peter; you could do a series of poems on it. Or short stories.
ReplyDeleteOh to do so many things! Working like a lunatic on a novel right now, but I'll hold that thought. Thanks Jessica and thanks for a really good prompt as well.
ReplyDeleteLoved this! I was there with the strong locating of the poem, the rhyming works so well, and as all have said, that suggested story...
ReplyDeleteReally nice work.
Thanks Titus.
ReplyDeleteI like it; the hugeness of the strand and the water eating the feet, I can feel the cold!
ReplyDeleteThe feet eating water is my favoutite bit! Thanks Nanu
ReplyDelete