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Friday, January 28, 2011

Magpie Tales - Escape



Escape

Her twelve year old feet run through the forest, they are bare and she is freezing.  There are lots of dark places hidden within the trees.  Beyond the tallest trees she can see the light glistening, calling her, telling her the way.

The light she knows is her only hope; she tries to stay focused, pushing herself forward, but her knees are weak, and she loses balance.  She has to get up, escape. The white canvass soaks through her, eating her skin as the trees swirl and she falls further still. 

The trees are closer now and so is the noise, a loud echo, that tells her, he is close.

http://magpietales.blogspot.com/

16 comments:

  1. Ohmigawrsh! How scary! This is definitely the stuff of seriously bad dreams - but seriously, well done! ☼

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  2. A great sense of tension in your piece, great take on the magpie prompt.

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  3. How very harrowing! One thing, in the first sentence, you have 'her feet runs' rather than 'her feet run.' Great write though, it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

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  4. I hope this girl makes it home...it is a serious bad dream for sure....I have been have frozen in the snow at 12 years old...and with the dark coming on always feared someone ..chasing me in woods....a revisit to those feelings...bkm

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  5. Thanks guys, and typo error much appreciated Mary.

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  6. "The white canvas soaks through her, eating her skin..."
    intriguiing, to me this evokes someone being swallowed by a painting,because of the word "canvas"? tense last line- I love the comma use.

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  7. Thanks Tumblewords, and yes Words A Day, I do so love the commas!

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  8. I read that the first time as 'canvas socks!' LOL But a good creepy tale to give us shivers...

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  9. A good thrilling start. Hope you finish the story!

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  10. oh dear....run run! Well written-more please.

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  11. Is she running towards rescue or away from danger? Very suspenseful. I enjoyed it.

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  12. Thanks guys, and Sue J, she is running away from danger.

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  13. Ooh, scary. I wondered why she was out in the snow barefoot before finding out she was running from someone. Hope she escapes.

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  14. Good God... this was chilling to the bone!!! Poor girl.. I hope she finds her release soon (without much suffering)...
    What a captivating read... a very fine take on the magpie!!

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  15. 'Scary' and 'chilling to the bone', thanks Linda and Kavita for your comments.

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