test

Friday, January 28, 2011

Magpie Tales - Escape



Escape

Her twelve year old feet run through the forest, they are bare and she is freezing.  There are lots of dark places hidden within the trees.  Beyond the tallest trees she can see the light glistening, calling her, telling her the way.

The light she knows is her only hope; she tries to stay focused, pushing herself forward, but her knees are weak, and she loses balance.  She has to get up, escape. The white canvass soaks through her, eating her skin as the trees swirl and she falls further still. 

The trees are closer now and so is the noise, a loud echo, that tells her, he is close.

http://magpietales.blogspot.com/
Posted by Louise at
Labels: , ,

16 comments:

  1. RJ ClarkenJanuary 27, 2011 at 1:01 PM

    Ohmigawrsh! How scary! This is definitely the stuff of seriously bad dreams - but seriously, well done! ☼

    ReplyDelete
  2. Brigid O'ConnorJanuary 27, 2011 at 1:41 PM

    A great sense of tension in your piece, great take on the magpie prompt.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Other MaryJanuary 27, 2011 at 2:38 PM

    How very harrowing! One thing, in the first sentence, you have 'her feet runs' rather than 'her feet run.' Great write though, it made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

    ReplyDelete
  4. signed...bkmJanuary 27, 2011 at 2:45 PM

    I hope this girl makes it home...it is a serious bad dream for sure....I have been have frozen in the snow at 12 years old...and with the dark coming on always feared someone ..chasing me in woods....a revisit to those feelings...bkm

    ReplyDelete
  5. LouiseJanuary 27, 2011 at 2:58 PM

    Thanks guys, and typo error much appreciated Mary.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Tumblewords:January 27, 2011 at 8:59 PM

    Totally chilling. Well written!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Words A DayJanuary 28, 2011 at 1:49 AM

    "The white canvas soaks through her, eating her skin..."
    intriguiing, to me this evokes someone being swallowed by a painting,because of the word "canvas"? tense last line- I love the comma use.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LouiseJanuary 28, 2011 at 3:01 AM

    Thanks Tumblewords, and yes Words A Day, I do so love the commas!

    ReplyDelete
  9. JinksyJanuary 28, 2011 at 4:41 AM

    I read that the first time as 'canvas socks!' LOL But a good creepy tale to give us shivers...

    ReplyDelete
  10. Strummed wordsJanuary 28, 2011 at 5:48 AM

    A good thrilling start. Hope you finish the story!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Kathe W.January 28, 2011 at 7:19 AM

    oh dear....run run! Well written-more please.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Sue JJanuary 28, 2011 at 7:21 PM

    Is she running towards rescue or away from danger? Very suspenseful. I enjoyed it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. LouiseJanuary 29, 2011 at 5:06 AM

    Thanks guys, and Sue J, she is running away from danger.

    ReplyDelete
  14. LindaJanuary 29, 2011 at 6:55 PM

    Ooh, scary. I wondered why she was out in the snow barefoot before finding out she was running from someone. Hope she escapes.

    ReplyDelete
  15. KavitaJanuary 31, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    Good God... this was chilling to the bone!!! Poor girl.. I hope she finds her release soon (without much suffering)...
    What a captivating read... a very fine take on the magpie!!

    ReplyDelete
  16. LouiseJanuary 31, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    'Scary' and 'chilling to the bone', thanks Linda and Kavita for your comments.

    ReplyDelete

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...