Magpie 55
The visual prompt this week is very striking and thought provoking, so thanks Tess @ Magpie Tales for getting us all thinking. For other Magpies see link HERE
Four Walls
Harsh echoes linger ghostlike,
half-finished dinners lie hardened on their plates.
In an upstairs room,
her white dress still hangs in expectant glory,
a bloody battering having sealed her victim's fate.
Four walls deserted barring recent memory,
retract in anguish drawing in her pain.
The children just a sideshow of a broken union,
saw him hit her many times,
but she remained.
Tonight all players gone,
the TV drones on unabated,
contained within this bloodied space.
Four walls forsaken now except for memory,
in this empty room that's reached the cruelest place.
Woah! What a read! Tension to the nth degree...
ReplyDeleteGreat read, it is a striking image and it is definitely inviting bloodshed. Sad story.
ReplyDeleteA gruesome picture but a great read.
ReplyDeleteThe white dress, the half eaten dinners, the children's side show - brutal and poignant details that carry so much weight, and sadly, truth.
ReplyDelete"in this empty room that's reached the cruelest place."
ReplyDeletenice line... such a sad story.
When I saw this prompt I thought that I might skip this week - it brought to mind such gruesome images. But your poem evokes those images in a way that's not gruesome at all. AND for some reason it made me think of a humorous way to handle the prompt...
ReplyDeleteThanks guys, and I'm glad Bug it helped you think of something humorous, I'm intrigued! Does it involve ketchup?
ReplyDeleteyowch! very sad indeed.
ReplyDeleteStriking imagery, depth of the victim's shattered world, 'the children just a sideshow of a broken union'... just wow. Excellently explored sad piece.
ReplyDelete'tonight all players are gone'... what a wonderful line for a heartbreaking poem. great writing!
ReplyDeleteI love the drama in this.
ReplyDeleteYour poem is as striking as the image. I shall have great difficulty excluding it from my mind writing mine. Well done, indeed.
ReplyDeleteBlood shade and an image that provokes, good write friend
ReplyDeleteThis just ripped through me...the violence is real..chilling..
ReplyDeleteWow! What an intense poem. Some great lines, in particular: "the children just a sideshow." Great take on the prompt!
ReplyDeleteI could feel those four walls closing in on me. Nicely done.
ReplyDeletePoetry24…where news is the Muse
"...in this empty room that's reached the cruelest place."
ReplyDeleteVery powerful, excellent read...
...rob
Image & Verse
Thanks everyone for your comments.
ReplyDeleteA tragic and powerful write. Excellent!!
ReplyDeleteI can't get that image of the hanging white dress out of my mind. Wondering if she put some bloody hand-prints on it?
ReplyDeleteReally fine work.
Kat
Powerful poem - I love the rhythm, the push/pull of the edges and the ending that signifies a starting over.
ReplyDeleteTragic, heartbreaking, frightening.I am always amazed by what a photo can prompt.
ReplyDeleteMy take was nearly opposite:
http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/03/02/ideal-afternoon/
Tough and telling. V.good.
ReplyDeleteWOW! Not only is this piece vivid in detail, but it captures the essence of what has occured. I especially like the very first line... it sets the tone and pulls me in. = )
ReplyDeletepowerful piece..
ReplyDeletewelcome join poets rally week 39, share a free or old random poem, make new poetic friends, have your work fully represented by the end of the rally..
ReplyDeletethanks for the time.
Happy Writing.
Hope to see you in.
xoxox
A very strong poem, well crafted.
ReplyDeleteReally, there is a limit to one's patience and endurance too.. isn't it? I bet she had had enough before she decided to do what she did .. (sigh).. what a tragic tale...
ReplyDeleteAnd superbly narrated too!! Gave me the chills... brrrr
Thanks guys for all your great comments.
ReplyDelete