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Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Magpie Tales - Four Walls


Magpie 55

The visual prompt this week is very striking and thought provoking, so thanks Tess @ Magpie Tales for getting us all  thinking.  For other Magpies see link HERE





Four Walls

Harsh echoes linger ghostlike,
half-finished dinners lie hardened on their plates.
In an upstairs room,
her white dress still hangs in expectant glory,
a bloody battering having sealed her victim's fate.

Four walls deserted barring recent memory,
retract in anguish drawing in her pain.
The children just a sideshow of a broken union,
saw him hit her many times,
but she remained.

Tonight all players gone,
the TV drones on unabated,
contained within this bloodied space.
Four walls forsaken now except for memory,
in this empty room that's reached the cruelest place.

29 comments:

  1. Woah! What a read! Tension to the nth degree...

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  2. Great read, it is a striking image and it is definitely inviting bloodshed. Sad story.

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  3. A gruesome picture but a great read.

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  4. The white dress, the half eaten dinners, the children's side show - brutal and poignant details that carry so much weight, and sadly, truth.

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  5. "in this empty room that's reached the cruelest place."

    nice line... such a sad story.

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  6. When I saw this prompt I thought that I might skip this week - it brought to mind such gruesome images. But your poem evokes those images in a way that's not gruesome at all. AND for some reason it made me think of a humorous way to handle the prompt...

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  7. Thanks guys, and I'm glad Bug it helped you think of something humorous, I'm intrigued! Does it involve ketchup?

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  8. Striking imagery, depth of the victim's shattered world, 'the children just a sideshow of a broken union'... just wow. Excellently explored sad piece.

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  9. 'tonight all players are gone'... what a wonderful line for a heartbreaking poem. great writing!

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  10. Your poem is as striking as the image. I shall have great difficulty excluding it from my mind writing mine. Well done, indeed.

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  11. Blood shade and an image that provokes, good write friend

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  12. This just ripped through me...the violence is real..chilling..

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  13. Wow! What an intense poem. Some great lines, in particular: "the children just a sideshow." Great take on the prompt!

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  14. I could feel those four walls closing in on me. Nicely done.

    Poetry24…where news is the Muse

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  15. "...in this empty room that's reached the cruelest place."

    Very powerful, excellent read...

    ...rob
    Image & Verse

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  16. Thanks everyone for your comments.

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  17. A tragic and powerful write. Excellent!!

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  18. I can't get that image of the hanging white dress out of my mind. Wondering if she put some bloody hand-prints on it?

    Really fine work.

    Kat

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  19. Powerful poem - I love the rhythm, the push/pull of the edges and the ending that signifies a starting over.

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  20. Tragic, heartbreaking, frightening.I am always amazed by what a photo can prompt.
    My take was nearly opposite:
    http://www.kimnelsonwrites.com/2011/03/02/ideal-afternoon/

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  21. WOW! Not only is this piece vivid in detail, but it captures the essence of what has occured. I especially like the very first line... it sets the tone and pulls me in. = )

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  22. welcome join poets rally week 39, share a free or old random poem, make new poetic friends, have your work fully represented by the end of the rally..


    thanks for the time.
    Happy Writing.
    Hope to see you in.
    xoxox

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  23. A very strong poem, well crafted.

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  24. Really, there is a limit to one's patience and endurance too.. isn't it? I bet she had had enough before she decided to do what she did .. (sigh).. what a tragic tale...
    And superbly narrated too!! Gave me the chills... brrrr

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  25. Thanks guys for all your great comments.

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