Week 51 Magpie Prompt - See Link at end of Post
Street
The streets are deserted. It is the end of night when the late drunks have already stumbled home and the early morning visitors, road sweepers and newspaper deliveries, are still at least an hour away.
I pass the shuttered-down shops, the remains of last night’s litter underfoot. There is a stale chill in the air. The sound of my footsteps seem loud, out of place.
When I reach the cobblestones, my high heels are not impressed. ‘Not long now,’ I tell myself and for an instant, I remember being a little girl jumping to avoid the pavement cracks.
When I reach the cobblestones, my high heels are not impressed. ‘Not long now,’ I tell myself and for an instant, I remember being a little girl jumping to avoid the pavement cracks.
Back then, my movements nimble, not like now. I stop walking and listen to the street. The silent humming, still haunted by the whispered roars, of the previously people-thronged night. If I am not careful, I could die here in this lonely place.
A lone seagull swoops down ahead of the morning pack, startling me. It is then that I look and see the image in the glass, long legs, short skirt, red lips, dishevelled blonde hair.
Who is it that I am now, and why do I live this lie?
Who is it that I am now, and why do I live this lie?
Great piece of flash fiction. I enjoyed the narrative and your style.
ReplyDeleteGorgeously evocative. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work.
ReplyDeleteReally interesting piece, great style to it.
ReplyDeleteThis is the night time version of my story....I loved how you portrayed the night on the cobblestone street xo
ReplyDeleteI really like the last line! I stood in the middle of a flooded street wondering the same thing! Thanks-
ReplyDeleteBoy did you ever capture the mood! What a voice!
ReplyDeleteThis is a intense question we all ask ourselves at one time or another. It doesn't matter much what the lie is just that we recogize it before it consumes us. Lovely work
ReplyDeleteMeeting oneself face to face..so insightful..really well done!
ReplyDeleteI want to know more. This sounds like a great beginning.
ReplyDeleteThere was a great sadness about this piece of prose.. powerful writing.
ReplyDeletevery intriguing story. leaves me wanting to know more. thanks for visiting my blog!
ReplyDeleteVery evocative, powerful place. I walked with you there, just now. I look forward to getting to know you better through your words.
ReplyDeletevery thoughtful, from jumping the cracks on the pavement to stumbling in high heels...how growing up shrinks us!
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of a rhyme we used to sing...
And the last line is a nice little hook!
powerful and provocative...you have great talent for envoking images..well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone for your positive comments.
ReplyDeleteWonderfully crafted slice of time - one that grabs the reader and hangs on.
ReplyDelete"My high heels were not impressed" great imagery!
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting my blog also~
GeeezLoueez (aka LeAnn)
I was wondering what her story was, I really liked this. Reflective and gritty. Nice.
ReplyDeletewhat a profound idea to create in a story... well done. i also enjoyed the pacing of the story.
ReplyDeletethat is a great intro to a much larger story...shall we look for a novel?....bkm
ReplyDeleteGood start to a story.
ReplyDeleteInteresting piece, meeting oneself along the way... so apt to the roads we travel.
ReplyDeleteI love that you saw your reflection and it gave you pause. Really nice piece, Socks! (I wish my reflection looked like that!)
ReplyDeleteThe "I could die" line is extrememly powerful, by the way.
ReplyDeleteThanks Kat. Not sure if anyone got that the character is supposed to be a woman of the night,probably not!
ReplyDeleteWhat a fabulous piece to come from a load of old bricks! Great read.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone for leaving such positive comments.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite lines: "My high heels are not impressed." and then "I could die here" which really intrigued me. I really want to know her journey from the innocent girl to the short-skirted lady of the evening.
ReplyDelete